Have you noticed that no matter how different your life seems on the outside—with new people, responsibilities, and goals—you still tend to react the same way as in the past and often feel like when you were a child? Whether it’s the emotional triggers of your interactions or the (sometimes overwhelming) fear of trying something new, switching careers, launching a business, or committing to a goal, the internal dynamics are always the same: part of you wants to go for it while something within you holds you back.
Since September is the 9th month of the year and 9 is the number of integration and completion, plus given that this year is also a 9 year (see Align Your Energy With This Year’s Energies and Are You Ready To Hit the Ground Running?), it’s a good time to reflect of what you’ve accomplished in terms of personal transformation while also acknowledging what you still need to do to break free from your wounded child archetype, to keep growing and reinventing yourself.
It normally takes 9 months for a physical body to be fully shaped in the womb and ready to be born. The end of this first cycle of (physical) individuation marks the beginning of a new one, and the end of each consecutive cycle leads to the beginning of another cycle of individuation, and so on. There are many different cycles in the span of a lifetime, but what I’m referring to here are periods marking endings and beginnings on the road map of your life path, because the energy of every 9 year (or cycle) supports the emotional maturity you need to reinvent yourself.
But it requires your effort and the willingness to heal the past. A strong beginning depends on the integration of what has come before. Most people just want to move on without looking back—or rather, within—either because the past is painful, they regret things they did or didn’t do, or miss a time seemingly better than their current reality. But the ego-mind invariably lives in the past, coloring your present with previous impressions and creating the script for a similar future.
To design a more empowering and abundant future, you must discover who you are, what you want, and what you need to let go of to get there, so it’s not only wise but essential to learn from past experiences, to keep growing and evolving rather than repeating old, familiar dynamics.
The Ego Robs You of New Possibilities For Your Future
When I did editorial work for bilingual textbooks at a renown publishing company, I was appalled to see that some important chunks of American history had been covered so swiftly that they were practically absent. I had no idea who was in charge of writing the textbooks, since it wasn’t my department and, of course, in the corporate world nobody really knows the whole puzzle, only the piece of it they’re working on.
But it wasn’t anything new. Scriptural, philosophical, and historical texts have been manipulated and reinterpreted throughout history, both due to ignorance and to meet the needs of those in power. Well, just like these types of misleading actions are meant to affect the collective mind, your ego colors your awareness to trap you in the same emotional perception of childhood to remain in control of your life-movie.
As a child your interpretation of things was shaped with both your environment and the subconscious tendencies carried from previous lifetimes, naturally framed within the context of your mental and emotional development. You hadn’t developed the capacity to consciously choose how to interpret or handle things clearly yet; so you basically absorbed everything around you, without discrimination, and identified with it (this became the masculine aspect of ego I call your ‘sense of otherness’).
Then as your mental development continued through schooling and training, or skills acquired in the work place, you became more and more able to learn from experience and make individual choices. Emotionally, however, you remained stuck in a wounded child archetype, because nobody guided you through the process of emotional individuation or helped you understand and manage the energy of your feelings. In truth, everyone around you was also stuck in a child archetype—either in fear or temper-tantrum mode—which is still the case for most people.
Moving forward or being ‘positive’ doesn’t necessarily mean you’re actually leaving the past behind. Its trail of emotional energy follows you wherever you go, like a shadow, tainting again and again the possibility of any new experience with past impressions, and fueling your resistance to grow. Simply pushing through the resistance, like a good soldier, will likely make you feel you’re making progress—in life or in business—but at the cost of disconnecting you further from yourself.
Pretending the past doesn’t matter or has no effect on your present is living an illusion, because you cannot really let go of something you’re not aware of; it will continue pulling your attention (like a wounded child) and shaping your reality with the enormous trail of unconscious emotional energy brewing inside of you.
In time it may also affect your physical or mental health, or both, because your ego-mind disconnects you when refuse to know yourself and be guided from within—by integrating the past with the present, the feminine with the masculine, and the spiritual with the material. Integration is key for the emotional maturity you need to grow out of the wounded child archetype, with all your fears, resentments, and regrets, to develop emotional freedom. So contact me today to get started on the path of a more feminine, easy-flowing, 5th-dimensional perception of life!
© 2016 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.