It’s becoming harder and harder to discern the truth from gossip or “fake news” in these times of instant communication and social media. Everyone is on the web searching for answers or information or entertainment, especially since we have to stay home, so the Internet has turned into a battlefield of opinions.
This is not new, except that now modern technology has magnified the focus on the external appearance of things. In truth, our reality has always reflected and will always reflect the battle between our sense of self and our sense of otherness—the two facets of ego.
Although ego is the principle of individuality, our self requires a sense of otherness to create the illusion of duality, of subject and object; but this otherness invariably opposes your individuality. It’s a paradox of the human condition, for the dual quality of ego pervades all perceptions and mental processes that create the world of multiplicity.
As a child, you’re completely codependent and wouldn’t survive without other people meeting your basic needs. But then your codependency continues on a subconscious, emotional level, since nobody guides you to look within to nurture your sense of self. What happens is usually the opposite: you’re supposed to meet other people’s needs to earn love and validation.
Then you’re encouraged to behave like your peers while competing or comparing yourself to other people. Since your attention is mostly focused on the outside world, you learn to value, appreciate, or love yourself through and in relation to others. You believe that if they accept you, you’re good; but if they reject or judge you, you’re worthless.
In reality, this has nothing to do with people, because others simply reflect your own egoic sense of otherness that keeps you disconnected from yourself, to prevent your mind from merging back with your true Self. This is how the ego-mind remains in control of your perception and maintains the delusion of being separate and isolated, giving you the sense of individualized experiences as a result.
Individuation Means Self-Awareness
The sense of isolation motivates you to seek love and support from other people, but at the same time it gets in the way of your individuation, which is the inherent drive of your soul. It can be tricky to heed and express your inner voice when you’re invested in social, karmic dynamics through the roles you take in the world. Plus, the polarizing aspects of ego naturally push comparisons and conflicts to keep you busy justifying or defending your viewpoints—that is, distracting you from looking within.
Your soul yearns for individuation. Not only because it is an individual spark of Consciousness with a unique journey, but also because this yearning comes from the magnetic pull of the Divine calling you inwards, away from the world and toward your true Self.
Your mind is a tool to both experience the world and seek liberation from the world, because the world is an impermanent mirage that causes dissatisfaction and pain (see Your Life-Movie Is a Dream Within a Dream). Ego gives it an individualizing quality that makes things appear separate, so as long as you keep tangled up in the drama of the external world—that is, of otherness—your ego-mind remains in control of your perception and keeps you unconsciously attached to suffering.
Real individuation is a process of self-awareness; of observing and redirecting the mind to nurture your sense of self, which eventually leads to your true Self; of making conscious your patterns of perception and action to be able to make clear choices toward emotional and spiritual freedom. It requires diminishing your sense of otherness and strengthening your sense of self until your self-awareness dissolves both in the pure of awareness of Being.
Since your sense of otherness has taken so much room and gained so much power in your life-movie (see Does Your Sense of Otherness Keep You Small?), it automatically makes you feel selfish or wrong when you turn your perception in the opposite direction, to nurture your self. But you don’t have to stop engaging with others or be passive; you have to be honest and self-aware to transform your perception. This eventually dissolves the veil of separation the ego creates, thus making room for greater love and peace. So contact me today to master my practical method of self-empowerment and emotional freedom!
© 2020 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.