When Things Fall Apart

transform your life with spiritual counseling & coachingWe know that we cannot control life, but how we respond to life’s events makes a huge difference between feeling like a victim of circumstances and embracing how powerful we truly are as co-creators of our reality.

I would like to share my own process here to illustrate what I’ve been writing about lately regarding the rising feminine energies, especially since today’s powerful Blue Moon urges us all to see beyond the veils of the world to bring in a higher vision of what is possible for each of us and on planet Earth.

I had to put my house for sale, as a result of a divorce agreement, and it went under contract a few weeks back. So I started packing, getting rid of stuff, and looking for a rental. Let me tell you, this is the house that nested 10 years of a 13-year marriage and witnessed my beloved daughter grow into the beautiful girl she is now. The minute I stepped into this house, I knew it was my home and I truly thought that I would never have to move. So you can imagine all the stuff and attachments I had accumulated over the years!

Fortunately, the house had been on the market for a while before this buyer appeared, so I had already gone through the hardest part of my detachment process; you know, the one that had to do with the end of my marriage and life as a family. I had let go of a lot of stuff throughout the past year—both literally and emotionally—and was truly ready to move onto the next phase. Or so I thought.

The Power of Letting Go… of a False Sense of Control

Looking for a rental was a bit stressful because I had to find a house with a backyard, where our dog would be welcome, convenient to school, etc., and as I was looking I realized that had to downsize even more. So I was clearing and packing away while at the same time taking care of my business and all the house chores. All on my own, of course. I managed, nonetheless, to create a flow that allowed me to take care of everything by completely letting go of what was truly no longer needed: my attachment to a false sense of control. This is something that life has been teaching me for a few years now, so it was much easier this time.

The pressure was building up because I couldn’t find a house that I liked or that suited our needs, and the date for closing was quickly approaching. I didn’t let this distract me and just continued on, focused on the tasks at hand. My options were decreasing each day, but I remained vigilant of my mind at all times while allowing and expressing the emotions that would come up to the surface. I knew that even though I felt pressured and stressed, I just needed to surrender, open up, and allow things to simply “fall where they may” without letting fears or doubts to take over. My feminine energies (trust, faith, acceptance) needed to become more prominent while the masculine (logic, control, action) had to move to the background to support this process.

I had really no control over the available rentals out there, or the application process, or the pet policies, or even the final decisions regarding the sale of the house, since my ex- had already given me hell about this. I was just riding the wave as best I could, without knowing what the outcome would be, yet trusting that it was all played out for a higher purpose.

I consciously chose to become the spectator of a mental movie that I was also participating in. So I was fully present in the unfolding of this process, without completely identifying myself with it or believing it to be really real, yet taking complete responsibility for any manifestation of my own resistance. It is clear to me that reality is both an illusion (a mental fabrication) and the crystallization of our soul’s journey, so I set the goal to take conscious action with no expectations and no attachment to the outcome.

True Transformation Comes From Opening Up


Right before the deadline to finalize the sale, the buyer backed out on us and it all fell through. We were back on square one. When I got the news from the realtor, I was obviously not happy about it, but I had managed to maintain enough emotional distance to not get discouraged.

On the other hand, what this also brought to my awareness was that throughout this process of letting go and opening up, I had managed to move through all the discomfort on my own and, without even thinking about it, I had gotten rid of the need for “permission” or “approval” or “support” from my ex-husband and any other internal male figure that I had allowed to hold me back throughout my life.

This was a true “Aha!” moment because not only did this venture allow me to let go of the last subtle ties to my marriage, but more importantly, moving through it actually freed me up from the patriarchal limiting beliefs I had carried with me since childhood—and beyond—by consciously keeping the feminine flow, by surrendering and opening up, and letting go of the male-based need to control and be controlled. I must say, these are powerful times on Mother Earth!

Obviously, after hearing the news about the buyer backing out I could have chosen to feel that I had failed and allowed hopelessness to invade me (I know my ex- did). I could have also felt like a fraud, telling my clients that we are co-creators and not manifesting my own desires. And I could have felt like a little girl again, unable to take charge of my life and control things around me, like parental figures are supposed to do. I saw those possibilities in my mind and didn’t buy them: my movie was going to have a different plot.

This is such a victory for me that I had to share it with all my readers. I didn’t sell the house (I had no control over other people’s decisions), but I was able to manifest a much deeper, much truer desire in the process of dealing with what life was handing me: that of my freedom from limiting subtle ties and beliefs that have held me back and determined what I have allowed in my life, or not, as a woman. This is internal and subtle and also incredibly empowering.

Yes, the house is back on the market and I will have to go through this again when a new buyer shows up, but that will happen on its own time. I, however, will not be in the same emotional place; and the process won’t be the same either because I have changed and can give myself permission to be afraid and vulnerable without losing focus or purpose, or yearning for someone to come “rescue” me, which is a necessary step in the co-creation of the life I truly want for myself.

Things Fall Apart To Get Out of the Way

In truth, when things fall apart, and we let them fall where they may, we are able to see where we stand and how we stand. We can observe ourselves better and gain clarity about what we want and what still holds us back—what truly matters and what needs to go.

So continue allowing life to happen as it happens, opening up to the flow of feminine energies currently permeating the planet, and learning from your own difficult situations and vulnerabilities. The insights will come when you stop focusing on the issues and problems, and give yourself permission to live life without resistance, no matter how challenging that may seem at times.

As the energy of this powerful Blue Moon shines its light, I stand here like a true peaceful warrior, in all my vulnerability and power, saying to life, “Bring it on!” Now, are you too? If not, contact me and let me help you get there. And as always, your comments and questions are welcome and appreciated.

© 2012 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.

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