How To Develop Emotional Flexibility

develop emotional freedom with spiritual counseling & coachingSince ancient times spiritual teachers have stated that the key to life is to live without fear. And that’s exactly what you did when you were born.

Not because you didn’t have the responsibilities you have now (although of course, those make life more challenging), but because you were born fearless.

You expected life to bring you what you needed or wanted without doubt or hesitation: love, food, support, and new experiences. The sense of lack and fear started either when your basic needs weren’t met or when you realized that you were expected to be and behave a certain way to get what you wanted. In other words, your own expectations were crushed by those of others.

As a consequence, your sense of self was overpowered by your sense of otherness: the internal voices of parents and caretakers that maintain those old beliefs and fears, leading you to react to life impulsively, in stress mode, depleting your energy and giving up on your dreams, as if you didn’t have a choice.

Or a will.

Or creative power.

Or self-love.

The problem is that when your sense of otherness rules your life, YOU get stuck in old patterns and belief systems that don’t even belong to you and don’t really serve you either. To recover and strengthen your sense of self you must develop the emotional flexibility that allows you to make conscious choices according to your needs and desires, instead of repeating the same old patterns of thought that yield the too familiar results.

How do you do that? Well, you can’t develop emotional flexibility if you are not aware of your emotions or where they come from. So a key ingredient here is getting to know your emotional terrain. Then you can discern between what is truly yours and what you’ve acquired out of habit or through the perception of others—the fears that hold you back. The process is threefold:

  1. Explore and understand your emotional terrain to stop blindly believing your fears;
  2. Choose new beliefs that resonate with who you are and what you want now;
  3. Take action to establish new habits and reinforce a more authentic self-perception.

This is obviously not a one-time deal; it’s a process that requires perseverance and determination, but since your reality is a reflection of your inner world, it is oh so worth the effort!

Marilyn vos Savant, an author who was listed on the Guinness Book of World Records under “Highest IQ,” was once asked the question: “What is the difference between thinking and feeling?”  To which she replied:

Feeling is what you get for thinking the way you do.

Wise words indeed! So if you want to develop emotional freedom and diminish that dis-empowering internal self-talk that prevents you from reaching your dreams and creating a life you LOVE, contact me today and start turning things around!

© 2014 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.

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