How many times have you questioned if you have what it takes to learn something, achieve a goal, launch a business, build a loving relationship, be a good parent, transform your life, or…? I could go on, of course, so you can fill out the question with what relates to your individual process and stage of life.
Perhaps you express this differently, but as long as it’s charged with self-doubt, you can bet your egoic sense of otherness is trying to make you feel discouraged and distrust your own potential. This may be reflected in how others treat you or judge your choices, or through the obstacles you find along the way that make you wonder if your decisions are wrong, but since you create your own life-movie—shaping it with your perception and coloring it with past impressions—these dynamics are invariably tainted by your ego-mind.
Now, believe it or not, they can also appear as the opposite. You may feel confident about a creative or business idea, willing to push through any obstacles to achieve your goals, or think that the person you’re attracted to is the perfect partner, only to find out that, once you fulfill your desires, you don’t experience the joy or enthusiasm you thought you would. Chances are, you created illusions and unreal expectations that eventually lead you to familiar but discouraging situations, or your ego-mind carved a way to rob you of the joy of your accomplishments.
Without self-awareness, the ego-mind is in charge of your life-movie while only about 10% of your choices are conscious; so it tricks you into believing that something is real or true when it’s not. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a thought or an emotion, past or present, actual or imaginary, the ego can reach into your subconscious files and pull whatever it needs to keep you emotionally stuck in the wounded child archetype, from where it directs your impulses.
You may have a great idea or an intense desire, but if your mind goes one way while your emotions take a different direction, your perception will be tainted with contradictions that won’t allow you to experience what you want or, even if you do, the joy will get sucked out of it with the unconscious belief that you don’t deserve it. This is why it’s much easier to ‘go with the flow,’ fulfilling other people’s expectations rather than taking spiritual responsibility to gain emotional and spiritual freedom.
Happiness Is Your True Nature
The real question here should be whether you realize that you always have what it takes to be happy, regardless of what you’re doing, who you are with, or what others think or expect of you. But as long as you believe that happiness depends on something external—achievements, money, relationships, or other people’s love and appreciation—you may experience a fleeting enjoyment but real fulfillment and happiness will remain out of reach, pushing to chase the desires produced by the ego.
You may think, “If I only had this or that, I’d be happy,” which disconnects you from your inner power. People around you, even those you love, may also make you feel that there’s something wrong with you, that you should be someone other than who you are or doing something other than what you want. This is your sense of otherness at work, hindering your individuation.
If someone judges or criticizes you over and over, reinforcing how they perceive you—which often comes from their unresolved issues and has nothing to do with you—at least part of you will believe and identify with what they think. Now, you may think you don’t care about other people’s opinions, but how your emotions taint your perception tells otherwise; again, your mind may go one way and your emotions another way, thus shaping an unpleasant, contradictory reality.
Like I tell my clients, if your life feels like it lost its spark, look for what triggered the unconscious guilt (i.e., shame, doubt, fear, self-judgment, self-loathing) that’s coloring your perception. Not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because impressions from the past make you unconsciously believe you don’t deserve something, especially if it’s related to inner freedom and self-expression.
The happiness you seek through others or in what you do is your true nature—the eternal, peaceful love and infinite creative potential of Divine Consciousness you are. But you must break free from the emotional codependency of childhood you’ve been reinforcing throughout your life, to fully embrace who you are and what you want, by investing in your personal, creative, and spiritual growth.
Then you’ll realize that not only do you have what it takes to create an abundant and fulfilling life, but your soul is always guiding you to consciously shape the loving life-movie you yearn for. So contact me today and learn to counteract the egoic resistance that creeps in whenever you attempt to develop the emotional freedom to express yourself and make your unique contribution to the world!
© 2016 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.