Choosing Between Love and Fear

learn to choose love over fear with spiritual counseling & coachingRegardless of our circumstances and personal history, we all share the most fundamental aspect of the human condition, which is that at any given time, and moment to moment, we really only have two choices: love or fear.

Life can show up in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, but when it comes down to it, we are always confronted between choosing what makes us freer, more aware, and more aligned with our true nature, which is love, and what makes us feel powerless, defeated, and resentful, which is fear in its many possible forms.

Fluctuating Between Light and Dark

The energies on the planet are unstable right now, and seem to be moving very quickly between dark and light. It is a little bit like being on a roller coaster, going up for a few days and then down again, and giving us the feeling that we’re not in control of our emotions and that it is unclear where we’re headed. This is true to some extent, and will continue for the next few months, but you can always shift your perception to regain some control in the co-creation of your reality. It is all about where and how you focus your attention and energy; it is all about choosing love over fear.

Love and fear are exclusive; one cannot co-exist with the other. Where there is love there cannot be fear, because love embraces trust, faith, compassion, understanding, and peace. And we all know that fear creates distrust, aggression, greed, confusion, and chaos. The energies of the planet are moving between those polarities more intensely now, and so do we when we become unconscious spectators. However, we can always open up to other possibilities and thus shift the experience of our reality.

Let me share a story here. I accidentally let a bee in my kitchen the other day. It flew in and went straight toward the window across from the door. There it bumped and struggled against the glass, obviously trying to find freedom, completely unaware that it was fighting an unsurmountable obstacle. At the risk of letting other flying creatures into the kitchen, I decided to leave the door open so it would find its way out. Yet hours later, it was still fixated on going to the outside world through the window and remained stuck there, just bumping against it.

If this little fellow had simply turned around and realized that the door was wide open, it would have flown outside in a second, without the need to do anything else, and especially without having to fight or struggle at all. But because it was so fixated on one particular “way out,” it could not see any other options. A bee, of course, has a limited perception of things, but we human souls have an incredible array of possibilities at our disposal and yet behave in very much the same manner as this buzzing insect did in my kitchen.

Opening Up to New Possibilities

When you become fixated on a particular issue, or attached to a specific outcome, you automatically create an illusion to struggle with. It arises from being in fear—fear of not getting the outcome you expect. Yet you may not know that you are creating it, or how to get out of it, because nothing in your environment points out a different “way out.”

In other words, very much like the bee I just mentioned, you cannot see what you cannot see, and as I’ve said on other occasions, you get hooked with yourself. Like the fluctuating energies of the planet, your awareness plays hide-and-seek with you. One day there is clarity and determination, and the next confusion and stress.

Or worse, one day you feel completely at peace and the next thing you know you are turning your TV on or reading the paper, and filling your mind with all the chaos of the world, without even understanding why you did that—why you took your peace of mind away like that. Then the feeling of stability and trust is gone—yes, the love is gone—and fear shows its ugly head. You made a choice, even if an unconscious one, and you scratch your head trying to figure out what happened.

This is why it is so important to have something or someone to help you keep the focus on what is true and transmute the dense, dark, heavy feelings when they come. In other words, to help you see what you are not seeing that is pushing you toward fear instead of love, and let go of what holds you back; to open up to and discover other possibilities; to find emotional stability and stay afloat while navigating the confusion created by the external world.

The Importance of a Supportive Environment

We don’t realize how vital our environment is until we start paying attention to how we feel on a regular basis and how everything affects us. If you turn the TV on and let it bombard you with all the stuff that you are missing, all the items that you should have, all that may be wrong with you, along with the chaos in the world, it is obvious that your personal life and your daily efforts toward self-growth and inner peace will seem insignificant—you are opening the door to fear shaped as frustration, anger, guilt, disappointment, anxiety, and so on. Let’s be honest; that’s exactly what the purpose of mass media is: to keep you distracted and in fear; in other words, to keep you feeling powerless.

Now, maybe you can remain somewhat objective about events that seem far away, but if those around you are not supportive, make you feel consciously or unconsciously guilty, or belittle or question your desires and aspirations, then it is another story altogether. Here you are not only opening the door to fear; you are actually inviting fear into your life on an ongoing basis. In this case, any effort to overcome that opposition will seem unsurmountable, just like the window pane was for the bee in my kitchen. Then the only way out is opening up to other possibilities, which means letting go of what is not supportive—be it relationships, work environment, family dynamics, etc.

The issue here is that even the thought of changing your environment may bring a lot of anxiety, which arises from all sorts of attachments, but in truth that is the case only if you are fixated on the outside, which is the external manifestation of unconscious fears, because you will be struggling and bumping against it.

If the change comes from within, from clarity and self-love, then it is simply like turning around and realizing that the door has always been wide open, and that it is time to take the next step on your journey and fly away. It’s a matter of choosing self-love over fear—that of losing a self-image created by the ego—and maintaining an ongoing focus on your choice. Contact me today if you’re ready to remove your resistance and discover tools to reconnect to the infinite flow of love within you!

© 2012 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.


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