Were you taught while growing up to say you were sorry or ask for forgiveness if you did something wrong? Or perhaps you were told to simply ‘forgive and forget’ if someone else did something that offended or hurt you. To be honest, when I was younger forgiving felt more like an obligation than an authentic impulse, but as I’ve delved deeper into the nature of ego, it has given me a sense of freedom I now cherish more than anything.
Forgiveness can be tricky. You’ve learned it’s the right thing to do, but the ego-mind often prevents you from truly embracing it by holding on to the past. It fixates on wrongdoings, mistakes, and regrets, because this is an easy way to control you emotionally and remain in charge of your life, judging and diminishing your sense of self, the inner voice prompting you to move forward.
Then you do the same with others: you project a distorted self-perception and blame them for your sadness and pain—for your disconnection from yourself. The problem is that when you do this you also relinquish much of your power, because you’re giving them the mental energy to control your emotions. It’s a vicious circle the ego-mind creates to maintain the illusion of separation from others and from Consciousness, which is your true Self.
The idea of forgiving may make you feel weak. Why should you forgive someone who’s treated you wrongly or harmed you in some way? Why would they deserve to be exonerated from what they’ve done when you’re still suffering? And how will they be held accountable, even if just in your imagination, if you forgive and forget?
We don’t see much forgiveness in the world, because everything in the world is ruled by ego: the need for power and control trumps love and compassion. We have police and prisons and armies and all sorts of systems in place to hold people accountable and punish them for their wrongdoings. But as we move toward a feminine cosmic cycle of light, and hidden truths come up to the surface on a wider scale than ever before, how flawed and biased and corrupt these systems are will become increasingly obvious.
For this reason, it’s time to make a serious choice in terms of where and how you invest your energy. Will you empower the same-old-same ego-based emotional currencies of fear and guilt (see What’s Your Emotional Currency Of Choice?), or will you create new possibilities for this human experience?
Anger Traps You in the Past, Forgiveness Sets You Free
It all starts with you: in how you judge yourself and others and whether you choose to hold on to your wounds and regrets or be determined to let go of the mental distortions that create your own suffering. Because it is your life-movie you’re shaping with your perception, and nobody else is to blame for what goes wrong in it; you must take spiritual responsibility to understand that it all results from the karma of past actions and the toxic dynamics you reinforce when you disconnect from yourself with attachments, judgments, and fears.
No matter how badly you’ve been hurt or betrayed, healing cannot happen without forgiveness—forgiving others for their choices and forgiving yourself for somehow being part of their pain as well. Clearly, this is a process of self-love, not just a mental exercise or words spoken out of obligation. Yet the easiest form of forgiveness is acceptance: accepting life as it happens, surrendering to it, trusting there’s a purpose behind it, and letting go of the need to control it to suit your desires and attachments. This opens you up to love, since you stop fighting your life.
Anger gives the illusion of power (and can quickly turn destructive) while love appears to make you vulnerable. Resentment is a hard energetic shield that separates you from the pain of what you’ve lost; perhaps your trust or innocence was broken, or your illusions shattered. But while it gives the illusion of protection it also separates you from yourself and the infinite love that permeates life, which can only be perceived when your heart is open, when you stop following the ego-mind and make the decision to no longer be angry—not because you’re ‘good’ or because it’s ‘right,’ but because you strongly desire to be emotionally and spiritually free.
In fact, if you make this choice right now, and not just in regards to those who have hurt you, but from here on out, your life will be forever transformed. If you’re willing to accept and then let go of the anger and pride, to lighten the burden of your existence with a humble mind and an open heart, you become a divine vehicle of energy, a cosmic child surrendering to your Divine Mother’s love to find peace within. It’s no longer about others, but about the choices you make to create your own happiness.
Believe me, once you make the decision, it may seem like the Universe will test you time and again; there’s so much stuff you could be angry or resentful about and so many irritating people out there. But if your determination is firm and you choose love and forgiveness over the attachments, judgments, and fears that fuel your anger, while remaining centered and independent, you’ll discover inner freedom, which is the most rewarding state of mind in this challenging journey we call life.
Behind your anger there is mostly pain, fear, and sadness, and often a sense of loss, but like all emotions these are just fluctuations of energy in need of expression. Denial is futile when it comes to energy; it will always crystallize in some unexpected way. If you hold on to negative emotions, either consciously or unconsciously, you block the flow of love; if you let them pass through you as you grieve what you’ve lost, then you reclaim the inner power they’d otherwise rob you of.
Your soul is constantly nudging you to find Divine Consciousness within you—the love, awareness, and peace of your true Self. Pain has the purpose to push you to look within, beyond the illusions of ego, to discover who you really are. Resentment keeps the pain alive, trapping you in the past, while forgiveness allows you to pierce through the ego with your grief, to find the love hiding behind it. Or as the mystic poet Rumi put it, the cure for pain is in the pain. So contact me today if you’re ready to commit to a deep process of self-discovery, to heal what gets in the way of your emotional and spiritual freedom!
© 2017 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.