Perhaps you’ve noticed, like me, that creative minds tend to be perfectionists. And I’m going to guess that you’re also one of us. Because if you didn’t want to create a better life for yourself, you probably wouldn’t be reading this. ;-)
There are always two sides to any equation, and being a perfectionist is no exception. The brighter side is love, because you care about the things around you and how you do things yourself. You want both to be the best they can be. You see a difference between those eager to improve things in the world and those with more of a “whatever” attitude or the belief that ignorance is bliss.
Perfectionists are visionary smarty-pants with a solution-oriented attitude and the willingness to invest energy and time to make things “right” or better. We see many possibilities for improvement where others don’t. We utilize our creative energy to bring into reality the great potential we perceive in every aspect of life. If you ask me, we’re awesomely unique!
The darker side of this, however, comes from a need to “fix” things, which often keeps us fixated in what is wrong. It’s easy to find fault when you’re in perfection mode, and to get so focused on the details that you miss the whole picture. Of course, this includes your self-perception. Without emotional flexibility, you run the risk of turning your vision of perfection into a yardstick with which you measure yourself and others.
The thing is that caring for and desiring to improve yourself and your environment is an act of love, but your wounded sense of otherness (your inner bully) may distort and turn it against you to keep you under control. Then you will express this as a need to control life (usually through others) or to compensate for a sense of “not being good enough.”
You may become an over-achiever.
Or overly controlling.
And you will soon forget to enjoy your life!
As long as you do things with joy and flexibility, and no excess, you’ll be fine, but the next time your tendency for perfection is triggered and you find yourself pushing and getting overly attached to the best possible result, ask yourself:
- What do I need to prove?
- Who am I really seeking the approval or appreciation of?
- Why am I not allowing myself to enjoy this (moment, activity, relationship, job, business, etc.) and gain a deeper experience?
Once you get your answers, you can replace those judging, fault-finding tendencies with new habits of thought such as:
- I am valuable as I am, and do not need to prove anything to anyone.
- I need no reason to do what I do but the sheer enjoyment of doing it.
- Love, appreciation, and support are my birthrights: they emerge from within.
- I am doing my best and so is everyone else because we’re all learning.
- I give myself permission to make mistakes and take imperfect action.
- The more mistakes I make and learn from, the deeper my experience becomes.
Now take a deep breath and let it all in. How does that feel? You may place sticky notes around you if you need reminders that life is about living it fully! Your soul doesn’t care about your achievements, certifications, diplomas, and awards. It doesn’t worry about how others perceive you either. It wants you to follow the path you’ve chosen to resolve the issues you came to work through, to grow, evolve, and joyfully embrace who you truly are. So contact me today to understand and delve into your life path, become more aligned with your soul, and start reinventing yourself!
© 2014 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.