I don’t know if you remember how your mental processes shifted from the self-centered viewpoint of childhood into the constant focus on others when you became a teenager. It’s not that you didn’t pay attention to those around you as a child, you most certainly did, but you were still in the process of shaping your perception to integrate and navigate the world.
Once those hormone levels surged during your early teens, your sense of otherness congealed into this emotional coat you didn’t know you were wearing, and your peers not only became the center of your attention: they became your center. You got gradually boxed into a self-perception that seemed to come from out of nowhere.
Your parents probably felt like someone switched their kids because they didn’t quite recognize you. The sweetness and innocence of earlier years most likely were still there, but there was this new side of your personality they didn’t know existed (and you find yourself in your parents’ shoes once you have teenage children).
You really were the same person, but new imprints and tendencies (vibrational seeds) that had been sleeping got energized through that hormone increase. Hormones enhance your identification with the senses, thus strengthening the ego-mind. Clearly, the instinctual purpose here is procreation, but this process also affects the mind.
Adolescence is probably the most challenging transition in our culture, one where your self-perception needs constant attention—either positive or negative—to validate who you want to be, while you’re really just waking up from the slumber of childhood and have no clear idea of what that may be.
A good analogy would be that of a young chick cozily snoozing while waiting to be fed who is suddenly kicked out of the nest into an environment she’s not familiar with. She’d better hurry figuring out how to open and use her wings because there is no safety net below!
Turn Judgment Into Mindfulness
From a spiritual perspective, adolescence is the time when we start wondering who we are and how we fit in the world and the big scheme of things. However, since the ego gets a power surge, so to speak, this potential self-reflection tends to turn into self-consciousness and self-judgment.
So your desire to discover who you are and ponder the meaning of life gets tainted with the sense of others judging you that triggers a defense mechanism to judge them as well. You want to be you and rebel against those who want to ‘mold’ or control you, but at the same time you’re confused about what it really means to be you.
After all, you’ve lost pieces of yourself along the way, trying to be loved and accepted, and your sense of otherness constantly pushes you to compare to others. It’s this dynamic that gives ultimate supremacy to your ego with beliefs and attitudes that keep your inner voice quiet and you stuck in the past.
So how do you get out of your head to tap into the intelligence of the heart that gives you intuitive wisdom? How do you stop worrying about what others think or do, and how they may or may not judge you? In other words, how can you move past the perception of childhood and adolescence to live your life from your true center?
Here are a few tips to get you started:
- Meditate regularly, every day if possible, to create a clear space between you and the world.
- Make a list to reflect on and recognize your gifts and qualities—the things that make you unique.
- Develop the discipline to shift negative thoughts by focusing on what’s positive around you.
- Rein in your mental energy through journaling, blogging, or creative writing.
- Carve a time and space for a creative project or endeavor that excludes others, even if you intend to share it later.
If you want to further explore your sense of otherness to stop giving it so much power in your life or business, then click here to schedule a Discovery Session, to discuss where you’re at and find the best way to work together. Isn’t it time to enjoy a more peaceful and empowering life?
© 2015 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.