Do you remember those fairy tales where the hero has a mission that entails going through a dangerous forest, and they leave bread crumbs on their path to be able to find their way back?
Well, you may not be aware of this, but you do something similar as you grow up, except that as an adult you forget to go get those pieces back!
Let me explain. The process of individuation is an adventure into the unknown, so if you didn’t get the guidance and support you needed as a child, you unknowingly left pieces of yourself behind. These were aspects you either deemed unacceptable, couldn’t understand for lack of intellectual development, or didn’t appreciate because nobody else valued them.
Psychologists stress the importance of positive reinforcement to shape or change behavior, but in our dysfunctional world negative reinforcement is the most common form of control. Both consciously or unconsciously, your own behavior has been fashioned through fear, guilt, and shame, because these emotions go against your true nature and trigger the urgency to avoid them.
They create an emotional short-circuit, if you will, like shock therapy for the soul. So these types of childhood interactions leave imprints that form your self-perception and your perception of the world—what I call your sense of self and your sense of otherness. You learn to behave according to other people’s expectations or needs in an attempt to avoid these ‘short-circuits’ and restore your natural flow of loving, creative energy.
Unresolved Emotions Keep You In the Past
Like the crumbs left on the path of our fairy tale hero, these emotional disconnections accumulate until they form a mental groove you tend to fall into; that is, they become tendencies that pull you away from your center and keep you emotionally in the past, disconnected from yourself.
Now you look for those emotional pieces outside of yourself, in your relationships and worldly pursuits, which can only bring a temporary feeling of comfort. Why? Because each of those relationships and activities you invest time and energy in are attempts to find the pieces of yourself you’ve left behind. You just hold the belief that you’ll recover them through others.
Nobody can give you what only you can give yourself by walking the path that takes you back ‘home,’ to the core of your soul. You may not be aware of it, but every single thing you do in life is an attempt to heal, that is, to reconnect to who you really are. As long your attention remains on the outside, however, your search will be futile.
As the hero of your own story, you’ve left a trail of crumbs that you look for on a completely different path, and you continue to leave more crumbs on each new path or venture you follow, scattering your vibrational energy while reproducing the patterns of a wounded past.
To feel whole and empowered in who you really are and discover what you really want, you must integrate all aspects of yourself—the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is how you get to create the future you desire and contribute what you came to accomplish. When you stop leaving yourself behind, all your creative energy is at your disposal for your optimum health and a fulfilling life.
Are you ready to start putting all the pieces of your life puzzle together, to feel more connected, enthusiastic, and engaged with your life? Contact me today to get started or book a complimentary Discovery Session at your earliest convenience to find the best way to work together!
© 2015 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.