Do You Feel Like a Failure?

experience real success with a spiritual mentor & coachHow many times have you felt like you’re not good enough or that your life isn’t quite what you expected it to be? And how many times have you felt that you have failed yourself or other people, because you couldn’t meet either your or their expectations?

The world promotes certain ideas of success, such as the amount of money or recognition we can accumulate—socially, creatively, politically, and so on. We have come to perceive ourselves through a very distorted lens, focusing not on what makes us happy, but on what gives us value according to the perception of other people, both loved ones as well as strangers.

That is because the world is a creation of ego ruled by ego, which is constantly seeking gratification and validation. The ego itself produces a sense of deficiency by blocking our true divine nature, and then it skirts around this disconnection by directing our attention to something external with a variety of desires, in the hopes that fulfilling them will make us feel good.

It might, but only temporarily, while we unwillingly keep reinforcing the control of the ego with this feeling of deficiency—a sense of imperfection or the “original sin” of some religions. We attempt to overcome it by chasing desires and trying to prove our worth, which just keeps us in an egoic mental loop, swinging between excitement and resistance, pleasure and pain, or hope and despair.

The problem is not that we want to contribute our talents or that we care about other people; the real issue is that we measure ourselves according to some external, fleeting validation that maintains this illusion of deficiency and isolation, thus robbing us of the real peace and happiness we yearn for. We give our power away to others without even knowing it, and these others, as social media is making more and more apparent, are fickle egos quick to judge and turn admiration into judgment.

Remove Distorted Ideas About Yourself To Be Happy

The ego-mind produces thoughts and desires because its main function in the play of Divine Consciousness is to create individualized experiences. Like a pair of scissors, it divides the eternal Self into innumerable expressions to provide a wide spectrum of human possibilities. By doing so, however, it also pinches our individual perception out of the totality of the Self we truly are.

It’s like forming a puzzle by cutting a picture into separate pieces. But because this puzzle is Consciousness in different human forms, each piece holds the inherent yearning to remove the feeling of separation and merge with the totality. We yearn for love and appreciation to heal the suffering of our division, except that the ego-mind makes us believe we’re going to find them outside of ourselves. If we don’t, or they don’t last, we feel like failures.

Let me share a story I just heard. After graduation, a father says to his daughter, “I want to gift you this car I bought a while ago, but before I give it to you, I want you to take it to a big car dealer in the city to see how much they would buy it for.” The daughter did as requested, and when she came back, she said, “They offered me $1000 because it looks very old.”

“That’s good,” exclaimed the father, “Now you need to take it to a smaller dealer to see what they’d offer for it.” Again, the daughter does as instructed and returns saying, “They offered me $100 because it is a very old car and needs a lot of repairs.”

Finally, the father told her to go to a car club and show it to the experts there. When she returned, she was excited to tell him, “Some people in the club offered me $100,000 because it is a very rare car, in good condition, and with great capabilities!”

The father remarked, “I wanted to show you how you are not worth anything if you are not in the right place. Do not get angry if you are not appreciated; that simply means you are in the wrong place. Don’t stay in a place where no one sees your value.”

True Success Is Living Life Fully Present

The story may refer to our value in the world of appearances, but it also rings true when we’re seeking to develop emotional and spiritual freedom. How can you realize your true nature if you keep identifying with the mental fluctuations of the ego-mind that blocks it? In other words, how can you be at peace if you keep comparing yourself to other people and let their behavior affect how you perceive yourself?

There is no success or failure; there are only experiences through which you continue learning and growing along your unique soul roadmap. We each have a function and purpose in the play of Consciousness, as vehicles of Consciousness, and we all have an ego that makes us feel imperfect and flawed. But success and failure are just ideas about yourself in relation to something external and temporary. If you allow them to determine how you feel, you keep giving away the control of your perception to the ego-mind that makes the world and others appear external.

Once you remove these and other false ideas about you, what remains is your divine nature, which is peace, joy, love, freedom, and happiness. If a room is filled with objects, you cannot see the beautiful wooden floor they cover, but once you remove all the clutter, you’re able to perceive what has always been there, behind it all. Similarly, removing the distorted concepts about yourself and others allows you to experience the perfection of life, where everything is as it’s meant to be for you to know yourself and transcend your self-created suffering.

Of course, this is a process that takes much time and perseverance, because the constant flow of thoughts, desires, and identifications of the ego-mind keeps you distracted. No matter how successful you may be in the world, the only real success is experiencing the steady happiness of your true Self, and the only real failure is disconnecting from the present with your own painful thoughts. So contact me today to transform your perception of reality by learning to master the ego-mind that blocks your path to spiritual freedom!

© 2022 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.

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