In these difficult times, when the division between people, cultures, and countries seems so predominant, becoming a spiritual warrior is essential to navigate the transformation of our world. But being a spiritual warrior—a Warrior of Love—is not easy. The ego-mind constantly pushes us to take sides or judge those whose beliefs are different than ours.
We look for someone to blame when things don’t go our way or they become too challenging because we forget that our experience of life is shaped from within and our reality is a mental movie made up of memories, impressions, desires, and unresolved issues.
Love dissolves our sense of separation, along with the judgment and fear that the idea of being separate produces. Love allows us to take spiritual responsibility for our perception and experience. It is the Awareness we truly are that directs our life-movie. And yet, most of us have a distorted idea of love because we are conditioned to believe that love is the attachment to another, “separate” person and that to love deeply is to hold on tightly to them—to possess or control them in some way.
But only the ego “owns” things to perpetuate the divisive sense of “I, me, and mine” that isolates us in a mental bubble. Ego itself is attachment. It is the emotional glue that bonds us to our desires, to those we care about, and to the activities in which we invest energy. Attachment causes suffering because nothing is permanent; we cling to something that is bound to change while expecting it to remain the same.
In this sense, we could say that the ego is our attachment to suffering; it keeps us stuck in the past, blocking the awareness and love that would allow us to be fully present in what’s real—here and now.
The Egoic Illusion of Possession
True love is not personal; it is the flow of life itself, found in the freedom of non-attachment. But it can turn into a distorted, all-consuming force that dictates your emotions and can easily blur personal boundaries or turn against you with self-destructive attitudes or actions. You seek love but unconsciously sabotage it and end up experiencing the opposite of what you want.
Most relationships are built on a subconscious need for validation, security, and companionship. We seek love to avoid loneliness or as a way to have something we believe is deficient within us that we project outside—rather than embracing or developing it in ourselves. Our attachment leads to expectations, and when those expectations are not met, fear, anger, and pain follow.
At the core of this is the false ego-self that thrives on the idea of separation. The ego makes us believe that love is something external, something to be earned or possessed or proven, thus keeping us trapped in cycles of dependency through fear and guilt. In reality, love is our true nature, but the ego blocks it by making us believe we are incomplete without the external validation from another.
When you approach relationships from a place of emotional need or a sense of deficiency, you entangle yourself in cycles of expectations, demands, and disappointments. You make others responsible for your happiness, which leads to the fear of losing them, of not being enough, of not being loved in return (rejection). Here loves turns into its opposite: fear.
Embracing Freedom Is Love
In contrast, love without attachment makes room for self-awareness, letting you acknowledge that every relationship is a mirror reflecting your sense of otherness (the projection of your beliefs), which is the source of your experiences. If, instead of seeking completion through another, you recognize that love is an expression of your inner wholeness rather than a means to achieve it, you reconnect with the love that is already within you because it is you.
Non-attachment is not indifference; it is the conscious non-identification with the external world of appearances. It allows for love to flow or be given freely, without demands or fear, and without the entanglements of past impressions. It is woven anew in every moment. Being a spiritual warrior or a warrior of Love means:
- Loving others as they are, without trying to change or control them.
- Allowing space for the unfolding of life—yours and theirs.
- Being present in all relationships without clinging to the past or a particular outcome.
- Recognizing that love does not fade with physical distance or time; it is a state of being, not a transaction.
- Letting go of expectations to embrace what is, here and now.
This perspective does not weaken relationships; it strengthens them in the freedom of our true nature. When you love without attachment, you offer a deeper, more genuine connection, one that is not based on fear or expectation but on the joy of simply being together.
How to Cultivate Non-Attachment
- Know yourself. The more you understand your emotions and triggers, the less you will project unresolved wounds onto your interactions.
- Recognize the workings of your ego. The ego fuels attachment by convincing you that love is something external. Observe its patterns and clear its grip on your perception.
- Release expectations. Love is not a contract of fulfillment but an opportunity for mutual growth. Let go of rigid expectations about how others should act or love you.
- Cultivate presence. Stay in the moment rather than obsessing over past experiences or future fears. True love happens in the now.
- Step back from the worldly drama. Remain centered to create some emotional distance from the world of appearances so as to not let it feed your ego.
- Recognize Love as your true essence. Love is what you are, and it fuels everything else. When you stop seeking it externally, as something separate, you naturally perceive it as the source of your life.
Loving without attachment does not mean the absence of deep bonds; it means that those bonds are not chains binding you to past, dysfunctional dynamics. It allows love to flow with ease and thrive in mutual respect rather than the need to control. True love, in its highest form, does not bind or limit; it is the liberating power of Divine Consciousness.
By transcending the ego’s illusions and embracing non-attachment, especially in these challenging times(see Neptune in Aries: A Cosmic Awakening of Passion and Purpose), you open yourself to a most profound experience of life, rooted in presence, awareness, and an unwavering connection to your eternal Self. This requires guidance and support, for the ego-mind is thick and stubborn and your sense of separation is deeply ingrained. So contact me today to start removing what blocks you from gaining emotional and spiritual freedom to become the spiritual warrior you are!
If you’re not ready to work with me as your spiritual mentor to delve deeply within, you can learn about the workings of the ego-mind to transform your perception and experience by implementing the Swan Method I share in You Are Your Healer: The Ultimate Guide to Heal Your Past, Transform Your Life & Awaken to Your True Self!
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