How many times have you questioned if you have what it takes to learn something, achieve a goal, launch a business, build a loving relationship, be a good parent, transform your life, or…? I could go on, of course, so you can fill out the question with what relates to your individual process and stage of life.
Perhaps you express this differently, but as long as it’s charged with self-doubt, you can bet your egoic ‘sense of otherness’ is trying to get you to feel discouraged and distrust your own potential. This may be reflected in how others treat you or judge your choices, or through the obstacles you find along the way that make you wonder if your decisions are wrong, but since you create your own life-movie—shaping it with your perception and coloring it with past impressions—these dynamics are invariably tainted by your ego-mind.
Now, believe it or not, they can also appear as the opposite. You may feel confident about a creative or business idea, willing to push through any obstacles to achieve your goals, or think that the person you’re attracted to is the perfect partner, only to find out that, once you fulfill your desires, you don’t experience the joy or enthusiasm you thought you would. Chances are, you created illusions and unreal expectations that eventually lead you to familiar but discouraging situations, or your ego-mind carved a way to rob you of the joy of your accomplishments.
Without soul integration—that is, aligning your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects—the ego-mind is mostly in charge of your life-movie while only about 10% of your choices are conscious; so it tricks you into believing that something is real or true when it’s really not. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a thought or an emotion, past or present, actual or imaginary, the ego can reach into your subconscious files and pull whatever it needs to keep you emotionally stuck in the wounded child archetype, where it directs your impulses from.
You may have a great idea or an intense desire, but if your mind goes one way while your emotions take a different direction and your soul is also trying to lead you elsewhere, your perception will be tainted with contradictions that won’t allow you to manifest what you want or, even if you do, the joy will get sucked out of it with the unconscious belief that you don’t deserve it. This is why it’s much easier (especially if you’re a receptive, feminine soul) to choose to ‘go with the flow,’ fulfilling other people’s expectations rather than taking spiritual responsibility to grow out of the child archetype.
Happiness Is Your True Nature
So the real question here should be whether you realize that you always have what it takes to be happy, regardless of what you’re doing, who you are with, or what others think or expect of you. But as long as you believe your egoic ‘sense of otherness’ projecting the thought that happiness depends on something external—achievements, money, relationships, or other people’s love and appreciation—real happiness will remain out of reach and you will deviate from your personal projects and goals.
The mass media bombards you with similar ideas, making you think, “If I only had this or that, I’d be happy,” to disconnect you from your inner power. Hell, people around you, even those you love, also make you feel that there’s something wrong with you, that you should be someone other than who you are or doing something other than what you desire, because their ego-mind wants you to fulfill their needs and expectations so they can remain in their child archetype!
If someone judges or criticizes you over and over, reinforcing how they perceive you—which comes from unresolved issues in their own life-movie and often has nothing to do with you—at least part of you will believe and identify with what they think, because their ego resonates with yours; if it didn’t, you wouldn’t care about their opinion of you. In other words, their inner bully wants to control you through your inner bully, triggering the wounded child within in both.
Now, you may think you don’t care about other people’s opinions, but how your emotions taint your perception tells otherwise; again, your mind may go one way and your emotional layer another way, thus shaping an unpleasant, contradictory reality. Like I tell my clients, if your life feels like it lost its spark, look for what triggered the guilt (i.e., shame, doubt, fear, self-judgment, self-loathing) that’s coloring your perception—not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because you unconsciously believe you don’t deserve something, especially if it’s related to love and freedom.
The more self-aware you become, the less bullying shows up in your life, either through yourself or others, because self-awareness naturally yields self-love and inner freedom, reconnecting you to your divine essence. The happiness you seek in others or in what you do is your true nature—the eternal, peaceful love and infinite creative potential of Consciousness.
You must break free from the emotional codependency of childhood you’ve been reinforcing throughout your life, to fully embrace who you really are and what you truly want, by investing in your personal, creative, and spiritual growth. Then you’ll realize that not only do you have what it takes to create an abundant and fulfilling life, but your soul is always guiding you to consciously shape the loving life-movie you keep yearning for. So contact me today and learn to counteract the egoic resistance that creeps in whenever you attempt to develop the emotional freedom to express yourself and make your unique contribution to the world!
© 2016 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.