Why Self-Love Makes You Truly Free

develop self-love with spiritual counseling coachingThis month Mercury will be retrograde until the Winter Solstice, passing over the Galactic Center, which is the black hole at the center of the Milky Way. Saturn will also be traveling over this energetic point before shifting astrological signs, so a possible meaning for this uncommon alignment is that it is time to begin committing to higher principles and a higher purpose for the New Year, which will likely be quite a challenging year for all.

Tough times often push us to make choices we would otherwise tend to avoid or delay. But you can be certain that your life is about to change in a big way within the next few years, starting with Saturn moving into Capricorn this month (for two-and-a-half years), demanding greater responsibility and work on your part, to revisit and transform the very structure of your life-movie.

This energy may put into question or jeopardize the foundation that has given you a sense of stability or security, only to help you realize how trapped you’ve become by things that no longer serve you and provide a mere illusion of safety. Saturn is the archetype of the stern father or teacher, as well as the ruler of karma. Now, if you understand that the karmic dynamics in your life have to do with your investment of love (or lack thereof) in previous incarnations, then it’s easier to find a way to resolve them.

Saturn (or the Universal Law of Karma behind it) is an expression of Divine Consciousness aimed to promote spiritual responsibility on this physical plane: to help you comprehend that nothing is really separate from you, and everything you experience is your own projection, your own doing—the result of choices you made in the past and choices you continue making on a regular basis, from patterns of thought and perception you need to become aware of.

This refers to limitations and hard lessons as well as opportunities, for karma works both ways: the love you’ve invested comes back as love (opportunities for growth and expansion), and your lack of love comes back as restrictions or suffering to help you learn the value of love. In other words, difficulties are meant to help you reconnect to love, which is your true nature, because love is the substance your soul is made of—and the aspect of Consciousness known as the Divine Feminine within you.

“The cure for pain is in the pain.” ~ Rumi

Now, if your life is your own doing, then difficult dynamics with others and the world simply mirror the internal dynamics within yourself (between your ‘sense of self’ that creates individual experiences and your ‘sense of otherness’ reflecting the world). The only way to change your life-movie so it aligns with who you really are now and what you yearn for, is through self-love. But self-love is not narcissism or self-centeredness; these are qualities of the ego-mind that actually block love.

Self-love is essential in the process of individuation and spiritual responsibility, to de-identify with the distorted self-perception you reawakened in childhood through other people’s needs, expectations, and unresolved issues. Yes, you probably felt unloved growing up, but this is because you didn’t love yourself enough in previous incarnations, and your soul is giving you another chance to heal.

Only love heals, but love heals it all. It’s expansive and transcendental, for it aligns all the aspects of your soul to perceive the abundance and richness of life, allowing you to flow with it instead of fighting against it, which is what your attachments, fears, and insecurities push you to do. Where there’s self-love, there’s no sacrifice, there’s no fear, there’s no sense of disconnection. In truth, the I-sense or ego disappears, to give way to the inner peace of Consciousness.

Since we live in a dysfunctional world that promotes ego-based illusions and the spiritual wounds that keep the Divine Feminine in the subconscious, self-love emerges from self-awareness and demands inner work to release the past. But once you break free from the distortions that have prevented you from expressing who you are and what you want, with no fear and no need for validation, you’re free to contribute your unique energy footprint to a better world while awakening to a deeper understanding of life.

Saturn expects you to make serious choices in the next couple years, in a initiation of sorts, to free yourself from some of your emotional baggage and move out of the wounded child archetype to embrace and expand your own authority—that is, to become the ‘author’ of your own life. You’ll feel this more strongly if your natal Saturn is in Capricorn, which means you’ll be going though what’s called a ‘Saturn return’ into a new 28-30-year cycle.

There’s simply no way to be happy or free (to be yourself) without self-awareness and self-love, because anything that is not Consciousness is suffering. But Consciousness is your nature and the direction your soul is always nudging you toward. Here are a few things to remember on your path to emotional and spiritual freedom:

  • Self-care is self-love: nurture your body, mind, and heart on a regular basis.
  • Self-love requires clear boundaries and independence (individuation).
  • Fear is the opposite of love and guilt the opposite of freedom; don’t let them drive your decisions.
  • Self-love demands clarity and radical honesty to stop seeking external validation.
  • Suppressing or rationalizing your feelings disconnects you from love.
  • Never be afraid of your pain or grief: there’s infinite love behind it.
  • Harness your inner power by surrendering the ego-mind to the Divine Feminine within.
  • Personal and spiritual growth trigger resistance from ego; do not deviate from your goals.
  • Remain anchored in yourself, not others, and let go of the need to be ‘good,’ useful, right, or a ‘fixer.’

You’ve been conditioned to believe that being what others expect of you and taking care of their needs is love, but more often than not it’s quite the opposite (unless, of course, you’re taking care of your children or those who can’t take care of themselves). When you assume emotional responsibility for others you exclude yourself from the equation of love, hiding behind them instead of taking spiritual responsibility for yourself, while resenting them in the process.

By the same token, expecting others to behave the way you need them to, to feel good about yourself, maintains codependent dynamics that rob you of the power to transform your reality—from within. So contact me today to integrate all aspects of your soul, heal the wounded Feminine within you, and become the rightful, mindful, and loving director of your life-movie!

© 2017 Yol Swan. All rights reserved.

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